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Tales from the online-dating frontline Catherine Mack, above, has learned to be wary of people who say they are 49, are in an open marriage or ahem wear sunglasses Dating tips for the feminist man all their profile pictures. I share this anecdote about my delving into the online dating world in order to remind myself that humour is the only way to keep this surreal world in perspective. At 52, two years down the road from separating after 20 years with the same man in my life, and the mum of two teenage children, I must admit that my dating websites are just a bit mad. There is no getting away from it. So, like most women my age, I sat up into the early hours of the morning, Sauvignon still in hand, writing a profile, putting up pics, handing over money, and hoping to God, as I pressed upload, that no one I knew would see me. Getting a little bit of a thrill like someone had just asked me to dance at the disco. Until reality hits. Birthday ideas for a guy you just started dating This week's particular message-induced despair was from someone speculating on whether I did in fact have a penis. Men of the internet dating world, please note: this is not the best way to charm someone you have never met. I had better tell you how I got here — a bit of context is always handy to blast away any initial stereotypes that I may be a sad, lonely, Mancunian spinster with eight cats that I talk to in baby voices. This time last year I emerged from an 11-year relationship as a single mum in Manchester at the grand age of 32. After the common reaction of a contained meltdown, wondering if I'd be alone forever and then having a stern word with myself to get a grip and get back out there, my mind turned to the fact that I was very much single.

Profile: Grace, 44 years old.
Dating profile singles Grace Zodiac sign: Capricorn ♑ Height: 5' 1" (154 centimeters)
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Hobbies: Bowling, Model Rockets Car: 2003 Jaguar XK
I am young attractive woman with open character and kind heart. I don it like it when ridicule me for it. I love my family and relatives very much and respect our traditions also. But unfortunately I still don' t find an appropriate man. I believe that you need to enjoy life in full.
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    My adored husband left me for a woman who was "everything you are not". He left me, "not the children", but did precious little to help bring them up. Life was working, keeping home, and maintaining a smiling face amid crippling grief and adversity. Then my son said, "Go on to Soulmatesmum. You're quite fit for someone old. Someone might fancy you.

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    Profile: Juanita, 21 years old.
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